Lead your business. Love your family. Actually show up for yourself.
ARE YOU THE ONE...
The leader (or parent) everyone counts on?
You step in before they fail. Fix it before they try. Hold it so they don't have to. Now you're exhausted, they're helpless, and nobody's happy.
(I understand how heavy that burden feels)
GET THE LIFE YOU WANT...
Without giving up what you've built.
30 hour work weeks.
Present at dinner every night.
Time to focus on your health.
Better connection and sex.
All while keeping your business growing.
That's not a fantasy.
It starts with being able to see your patterns,
And being honest about which one owns you.
FATHER. LOVER. LEADER.
Most of us are constantly choosing between the three.
Most dads running successful companies are constantly choosing, performing different versions of themselves at work, home and when they're alone.
And they're exhausted by the cost of holding it all together.
(The problem isn't them. It's the pattern.)
THE "ONE" PATTERN
Most successful fathers are trapped in the same loop.
You step in before anyone fails.
Fix it before they try.
Hold it so they don't have to.
Now you're exhausted, they're dependent, and nobody's growing.
Your strength creates everyone's weakness.
You solve the problem. They stop trying.
You hold more. They hold less.
You rescue. They wait.
Now you're the bottleneck.
In your business. In your marriage. In your family.
And the thing you're most afraid of?
That if you stop being THE ONE, everything will fall apart.
MOST HIGH-PERFORMERS ARE GOOD AT PERFORMING
(at the highest level of course)
- Crushing it externally
- Revenue growing, team depending on you
- THE ONE with all the answers
- But dissolving into the role
- Can't remember the last time you felt challenged (vs. just busy)
- Show up for dinner (when you can)
- THE ONE who is a responsible provider
- But you're thinking about work
- Kids are fine, but the connection feels surface level
- You're there in body, but not really there
- Health is "fine" (but declining)
- Haven't had a real hobby in years
- Can't remember the last time you did something just for you
- Sleep is mediocre, caffeine = energy
- You'll "get to yourself" later
YOU CAN HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT...
Without sacrificing everything you've built.
It's impossible to be a great father, lover, and leader when you're always out of bandwidth.
When you build capacity instead of burning through it, three things shift:
Father → You're actually there, not just physically present while mentally still at work
Lover → Your marriage is no longer about logistics. It’s alive, connected, nourishing (and hot!)
Leader → Your team learns to lead themselves and stops needing you for everything
This isn't balance. Balance is a myth sold to exhausted people.
This is capacity. The ability to respond instead of react. To access choice under pressure. To be fully alive when life demands everything of you.
What that looks like is different for everyone. Some men work 30 hours. Some work 60. What changes isn't the workload, it's the weight. No more running on empty or choosing who gets what's left of you.
It's time to break the pattern.
To stop being THE ONE.
To build capacity.
To show up as the human you actually are instead of the hero you think everyone needs.
Are you ready to stop performing and start living?
- Brent
P.S. Don't take my word for it (testimonials)
This is for you if...
Your business needs you, your family needs you, and you're choosing between them every day
You're exhausted by the cost of success
You're ready to break the pattern even though it terrifies you.
This is NOT for you if...
You're looking for time management hacks
You want technology to do it for you
You want someone to tell you you're doing fine
You think the answer is working harder or getting more disciplined
THE REAL QUESTION...
Can you keep doing this for another 10 years?
(your body already answered)
Brent Perkins is one of the most caring and present leaders in the marketplace today. Unlike many other thought leaders who offer little in terms of tangible value, he overdelivers in every sense of the word. Brent has helped my business but more importantly my marriage, my relationships with my kids, and even my relationship with myself.
Andrew Biggs, CEO, Better Than Rich
