The Ripples of Change

Change, I've learned, is rarely a swift or straightforward process. It's more like dropping a stone into a still pond - the initial splash might be dramatic, but it's the ripples that truly reshape the surface.

My journey of personal growth began with what seemed like a chance encounter on a plane. But as the ripples of that meeting spread through my life, I found myself questioning everything - my career, my relationships, my very understanding of who I was.

"It took almost three years to integrate the initial lessons Christine and I worked on. The process felt like stirring a cold jar of molasses that had just been taken out of the fridge. [Soon enough,] most lessons were getting sticky after 3–6 months of conscious work on them."

The ripples were gaining momentum, touching areas of my life I hadn't anticipated. My perspective on success shifted. The goals I had been chasing for years suddenly seemed hollow. The relationships I had taken for granted were strained under the weight of my evolving self.

"While I had opened to new perceptions of life, nothing landed in the way I hoped for."

Change, I discovered, doesn't always feel good in the moment. The ripples can stir up sediment, muddying up the already murky. Relationships that once seemed solid are the first to be tested. The image our ego would like to present to the world suddenly, and obviously, looks incongruent with our inner reality.

"Nothing changed with my marriage, my kids, or, frankly, my love for myself."

This realization was perhaps the most challenging ripple of all. The external changes I had made - in my career, in my understanding of the world - hadn't automatically translated to improvements in my most important relationships, including the one with myself.

But here's the thing about ripples: they don't stop until they've touched every part of the pond. The process might be slow, even imperceptible at times, yet it's relentless.

And it leaves me wondering: am I rushing to minimize life’s ripples or allowing them to dissipate in due course?

Wobbling on the waves and trying not to crash…

*Italicized quotations are from Papercuts: The Art of Self Delusion